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Non Serviam

by Mental Disease

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1.
Non Serviam 04:51
Krieg dem Kriege. Common sense, first victim of your war died before the first shot fell sheer wisdom to fight fire with fire – the logic of our great authorities. Count with me not as your servant for I will not and never Serve and suffer this soil as I'm not one of your brainwashed spineless puppets Honor my pride! - Honor my life! The ones you turn to heroes are clowns lipsticked with blood Deny your medals. Suffocate from your gold! NON SERVIAM! I reject your infant's sandpit game make me not your puppet for I will hold my strings alone... ("Non Serviam" represents our denial towards the insanity of war. The first line of the song is taken directly from the book of Ernst Friedrich by the same name, meaning "war against war" in German. The lyrics are also influenced by a poem written by Bertolt Brecht, "Die Legende vom toten Soldaten" (The Legend of the Dead Soldier). War is the worst of all social errors, forcing young people to obey blindly, to die for conflicts they haven't caused or devastate cities they haven't built. Apart from other failures of mankind, war didn't ever serve any good, but has only shown the stupidity of our species in its most disgusting form)
2.
I did not feel, I did not see when eleven thorns were stabbing me aghast I beheld the plagues and fevers I witnessed through the sight of a shroud Someone awake me from this lucid dream someone awake me from this fleshly slumber Tear me off this skin break my spine and eat my flesh so that I may escape into the aethyr I've grown immune to everything that once wounded me Have I not been here, drowning in these sands I used to play in as a child? (At times, it is difficult to make your individual perception and your idea of an 'objective reality' harmonize with each other; in our darkest hours, it often seems, as if the dividing line between both vanishes most easily. These are the nights of hardship, where you find yourself intoxicated, half-unconscious, lost between seemingly hostile concrete buildings, struggling to find your way to a place you call home.)
3.
Not now, not ever, not yet again falling faint, dozens of times All that is, is the purest nothingness of pure primordial love. You take a nail and draw it through my skin Connect the scars to letters, read your taunting verses Swallow my blood again, it's never been worth the pain of deforming my heart to stones. No more words! Words carve wounds! I've bled for times now and the blood just burns my skins I beseech you Pull me back on the feet you have broken. I ask of you to forgive me for thinking you were able to tear off this blindfold from my eyes And for attempting to quench my first... I owe you so much for absolutely nothing but I will never be able to tell, nor to give you back for I would prefer pushing splinters of thorns through all my arteries The only goal I've set myself voiding this bottle of wine till the bells toll twelve I climbed the ivy up the wall to hide behind a futile line struggling through limbs of oaks to hide that I weep blood and venom Forgive me for spending every second awake with these illusionary memories. And for the sole sake of forgiving myself for always escaping and always drowning... You shattered temples that were sacred to me I confess, ending lines never mattered to me so I will continue sleeping in beds that I've never truly lain in. And as I scream these lines my aching throat runs dry only for you to comprehend... I still find empty spaces between the words I screeched bleeding unto patient shards of paper. (The title of these lyrics loosely alludes to Friedrich Nietzsches theory of the Eternal Return of the Same, assuming, that the world and the universe is recurring infinitely. But contrary to most of his concepts, in my case, the idea of an infinite circularity is used rather ironically, meaning basically that every person you meet or know has the potential to severely disappoint or hurt you. Whereas most of the times, this may be not the case, but when it is, it may strike you like a stone in your face. These one or few experiences of total bleeding and numbing grief all of us have made, perhaps in different ways. What Nietzsche and I share in our views however, ist the idea of "Amor fati" ("loving your fate", meaning 'fate' non-divine, rather as your current state of being). Embrace these things as the pages that'll make your biography in the end! "Eternally Recurrent", on the other hand, has an introspective meaning and is by far the most personal song I've ever written.")
4.
I worship the Promethean fire for it burns in the depths of my soul I discovered the self to sanctify the original sin. Virtues of the falsehood - your wine I turn to vinegar I am divine and holy Through my wisdom, and my atrocity. I am the enemy! I am apostasy! I am vengeance! I am God! You truly are the lion tearing me into your greedful mouth From this you exist Living through fear rejection of true love and joy I poison your wells. Burn your harvests. Scatter your seeds. above the stars of God Deliver me not of evil. For the evil is you. Your god is dead. Hallelujah. ("I Am Apostasy" is obviously an attack towards any forms of human weakness, expressed in metaphysics, esoterics or religion. A main source of inspiration was of course Goethe's poem "Prometheus", although within this song, these motives are converted through the tongue of the 16-year old kid that I was when I wrote these lines.)
5.
I behold... your cold remains in my arms as tears a thousand tears they run down Life abandoned us for now inapt to say „farewell“ I make a sigh of the same meaning. In dusk my heart dwells frozen by death's grip how shall I live again? „Lover, do not mourn my death serene your life shall be as it was of most precious beauty“ Do you remember how it was? How we have danced 'neath maple trees? How we felt the pulse of life in our veins? „Deny it not, our time arrived I feel no pain but one for you I whisper thee such tender words: 'Forget me not'“ I failed to see the warnings but still in death your beauty shines To stranger spheres the air escapes a silent kiss to tell of hope Vacant is my heart forever it will be vacant! Have we come this far our traces in the snow now covered? And sadness will last... To forget for a second the suffocating grief of live and soon we shall realize the fragileness of beauty "I follow thee and make a heaven of hell to die upon the hand I love so well" Deprived of all that I loved my heart it lies there bleeding torn asunder we were two lives estranged by stranger hands So it shall end? Only transparent memories remain Hither we came to close to the flame I failed to see the warnings but still in death your beauty shines To stranger spheres the air escapes a silent kiss to tell of hope Vacant is my heart forever it will be vacant! Have we come this far our traces in the snow now covered? And sadness will last... (With these lyrics I covered a subject that is quite unusual for us: death. "State of Anaemia" is strongly influenced by the style of Shakespearean tragedies; even citing some lines of the second verse directly from "A Midsummer Night's Dream" (Act II, Scene 1). As the epitome of tragedy, a story is told about two loving people, and the loss of one of them. The deceased person is still present in the mind of the living one; thus the latter wants to follow the first into death. I apparently liked Shakespeare A LOT back in the days.)

credits

released December 10, 2016

All music composed and arranged by Mental Disease
All lyrics by J. Werner; except "Non Serviam" by R. Korn and J. Werner
Recorded 2015-2016 at Melting Rox by David Böhme and Paul Fichtner
Drums recorded by Christian Beck
Mixed by Paul Fichtner
Mastered by Thomas Tikay Küchler at Suedwand Recording Studios
Cover by Roman at Mental Contamination
Artwork concept by Mental Disease
Logo by facebook.com/zs.graphic / zettess.tumblr.com

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Mental Disease Chemnitz, Germany

Founded somewhen in 07, still enjoying the things we create.

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